Planet Fab on Mission

2008-07-06T16:56:00.003+06:00

Guinea - View from my balcony (Novotel)

Hello, been a long time, probably six month I have not wrote on here, but time happens where it just doesn't feel like to, or just that life is busy enough, to offer enough time and energy to write. Or maybe Im just lazy :)

UN is finished, it wasn't a nice ending, but as you could expect coming from an environment like the UN, there is nothing surprising. As usual, at the end of last year, we had this get together american style staff assembly somewhere in the desert (UAE), where we are meant express our selves and point out lessons learned etc... Well, that last one, I probably was tired enough of being unfairly "Fucked" (excuse the expression), and decided to say what I believed correct to say. Obvisouly, that isnt the policy which pleases the high level fat bastards that feel their pockets with your sweat, and lifes.... At least, I really loved that work, and really enjoyed acquiring such an experience of people and mostly africans. Nothing can replace this experience in the deep parts of certain country where I would have otherwise not been able to go. Just because of this, I wont spend more time on puking about the UN controversies and unfairness, through there would be probably a large book to write about..... I let you make your own validation of what the UN stands for, or for who they fight for!

After three month of searching, without much replies from the hundreds of targeted job adverts, I eventually got lucky, and was taken onboard what I would say bought back a large smile on my face. I have embarked in one of the biggest projects in the world, and one of the most enjoyable life there can be for who enjoyed the rough life of africa. Guinea is the new location where I should be living for the next three or four years (if all goes well, and I manage the work). Life at the moment isn't too easy, nothing is settled, I live in the hotel for the last three months, I am becoming fat as I eat at the restaurant every days... something I have not been used to in the past, and Im still smoking and drinking more than I would like to. However, this is only the usual adaptation period, where you are struggling in finding your cruising speed. I know that in sometime again, I will be having a saine and healthy life. Its a matter of getting there, and thats happening now... hahahah. Meanwhile, Guinea is an extremely poor country, with a lots of potential! There is everything to be done in this country, and so little that can be yet invested in as the political situation is so unstable. People are suffering a lot, and if a bag of rise costs a monthly salary to an average citizen, it does not remove them there smiles and constant inexplicable kindness. Damn, got to go, will be back later :) sorry!!!

Back online, alone again...

2007-12-05T19:34:00.000+05:00

While having a trip around with the office bike.... These people are Mahafale, thats the tribe they belong to! (madagascar)

Not been writting here for a very long time.... I guess life has been a little to busy to get the time to write to myself again... inspiration and feelings for writting here are very sporadic.... I don't really know if anyone reads this, but in anycase, this is just another session I write with myself. Im in boredom bangla jessore city, and its a real test to put up with. This place must be the most dirty and disease infested one I have ever been into since I Started traveling.... Dengue fever, Malarya, lepra.... a lot more... smells, dirty hands all the time, smelling hell...... just enough...

Im in a lost town, where there are so far no expat seen, and where all there is to see is dirt.. now in an office on my own, noone to talk to, just an internet connection, and a hord of Moskitos attacking from all sides. I might just be lucky enough to transform into one of them soon!

Christina the adorable! No! its not my daughter! (madagascar)

Anway way, Ill try to catch up a little on thing by pasting here a few picture of the event happened since Lebanon..... Its got to be, Madagascar, Mauritius, Iran, and Bangladesh....

Take care...

2007-07-09T00:54:00.000+05:00

Nahr El Bared (Tripoli)

It has now been a month that I am in Lebanon, working on this small scale Emergency project. Its been a month, and yet, the real action has not started. The Palestinian refugee camp is still being shuttered by heavy mortars and gunfire. It has become a routine to hear the permanent "BOUUMM" from the place where I stay. The unfortunate people of this camp had to move to another camp near by called Beddawi. As a result, this camp is now overcrowded with double the people it would usually take. The refugees, have been living in the camps for generation, and seeing their 2Km square territory is extremely painful. The other day, I was with one of the refugee from Nahr El Bared camp, we were driving along, and were in a location where you can actually peacefully watch the mortars blowing building into dust. As we were watching this, I discovered he had his house there, which he had just morgaged for. He explained to me that his house was reduced to none, and that is futur was worst than is present! Not only that now he lived in some other famillies places, but also, he has to prepare for the return to the ruins of his ex-house, and ensure he keep working as usual to pay back the morgage he had taken to buy a very modest house, such as they are in the refugee camps. All in all, he will receive a thousand dollars to compansate his faith, and the rest is entirely up to him. Basically having a family with kids and no house to live in, is already sad, but on top having to p[ay a morgage for a house that has been destroyed by the army is even worst..... I still dont know what I could have said to this so strong and unfortunate man.

Mauritania - Morocco - Palestine - Israel - Lebanon

2007-06-15T22:05:00.001+05:00

Been a while, and as usual, im coming up with that sentence.... Well, it seem as if its been along way for me since Sudan where I started writting this blog.. And I'm starting to try and understand why my motivation in writting through here has decreased so much! Its all to do with myself getting used to the job, and a little less confused, but also with life having been so busy! After the last trip to Somalia, I have been doing alot, but probably so much of it was full on, that I didn't feel the need to write to myself!

After spending sometime in Mauritania, for the fourth time in a year, spent some holidays in Morrocco! About two weeks! I wanted to find out about this stories I had, and also, it was the only place available at the time, near where I was based (MAU). What I'll shortly say, is that I was not impressed at all by this country, the police hassles you all the time, people are just not entertaining at all, and you have to watch out all the time, and the cities (Marakech, Agadir, Essaouira, and Casablanca) did not impress me at all. I would put that one on the last position in the priority list of the country I liked! Anyway, that only me, maybe others will find their dreams in there.

Following that, about 5 weeks later, Im off to Palestine (Occupied Territories) and Israel (of course, you have to get there to go to Palestine). Jerusalem was an amazing city to see, and I'd say that I would never replace this trip for any other! it was a fantastic opportunity to discover this amazing troubled land where most of religions history referes to! I saw the Jesus grave, Mohammed portal to Heaven, and the Jewish with Adam! It's just a breath taking city I must say and for me who converts into a muslim, it was a beautiful moment to do my first paryers! I loved it all the way and this city has everything that others don't have! All the religions together in the same place!

The darker side of it, is all this never ending war between people which in the end are no different than any other, they are led by politics and dragged into darkness! Religions seems to be a good tool to politicians to ensure complete control over their own interest! What a pity! It was so frustrating to see a country with plenty of land, and luxury on one side, and an other with absolutely nothing, and povrety all around.. I wont comment much on that for reason some you will surely understand!
Maybe one day, I'll spit all this out, but I doubt it happens here! :-)

Half way through my life in this very emotional land, I headed to Jordan, passing through Albin Bridge, border with Israel and Jordan! this was another so fantastic journey, with a stunning landscape, and the famous and notorious Dead Sea! I surely cannot explain how wonderful it feels to be in the middle of this extraterrestrial land with eroded DRY mountains, and this so amazing dying Dead Sea! :-)
On this Mission, Mogadishu was well far from my mind, and altho I will never forget Mogadishu trhilling experience, there are time where nothing disturbs my mind from these amazing beauty of earth!

The journey to Jordan was paradise, and I made my way through to Aman, on the same day! There I spend only 7 hours, before heading to Lebanon! Arrival in Lebanon happened at night, with a Dash 9 C400, and it was not without trouble. My luggage were forgotten in Aman, and I had to change my schedule before being able to take on my duty! After spending a very confortable night in Beirut, I headed North to the troubled area of Tripoli! For those who have no idea, there are two refugees camp where one of them has been assulted by the lebanese military forces due to a siege of the Fatah Al Islam group. Again, Im sure some will see my point in not getting into more details.... In the end, I am now still in Lebanon where the situation is getting more and more tense, to the point where I will very certainly have to give up on my return in Palestine!

All I can say, and I beleive that this will not offend anyone who truly beleive in Humanity, is that the Palestinian people have suffered more than any other people I have heard of! And even if still some will say that they were the victims of there mistake, I will always keep in my mind that by now, they have paid the price, and that there is no reason for the new generation to still pay tribute as much. It must be taff for a people to always having lived in a restricted area, which looks like jail on a big scale while there is so much space available for living in the place they orgininated from... Its so hurtful to see that even now, in 2007 there is still this kind of un-humanity towards brother humans... what can I say, or think... its just very sad!

I should remain over here for another month, inshallah, and hopefully get to meet more of the Lebanese people! I love this country and its people, I love the ever streching costal view, and could very well see myself living in such a place. However, there is still alot to be done for people to live in peace here, and As much as the Palestinian people suffered, the Lebanese people also had to go through a lot more than may deserve.... I'm still thinking of getting a life here, All I need is enough time to find a house! Imagine, view on the sea everyday, up in the mountain side, and near from work! Tempting isnt it! of course you will have to cope with the usual bombs there and there, but thats how you come to beleive that there is a god... its when you have passed by them that you understand that the only safe place is in beleif of your luck!

All I have to do not, is wait, and inshallah I will evenatually find my love and therefore home! This could well be in Lebanon!

;-)

Back from Mogadishu - Somalia

2007-02-05T16:41:00.000+05:00

Hello Hello,

Phewwwwwwwww.... releasedddddddd, when stress evacuates your body, it does like a waterfall, physically touchable, and mentally relaxing! It's like you empty your body from all the event recorded from previous days, its like archieving your new files the souvenir closet! After these 9 days in Mogadishu, working long hours under some kind of stressfull environement, is eventually the end. Now, it time to relax for two days in Nairobi, and then I'll be off again, but for now, its time for stress release! inspire, expire! it also works for the head! :-)

Some pictures from Mogadishu....

Scared.....

Latest News, Mogadishu under fire.

2007-01-24T17:03:00.000+05:00

Lunch time today, mortar and gunfire on Mogadishu Int'l airport:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6293897.stm (so quick, as usual its all here).

Oops...

Back to work

2007-01-24T13:36:00.000+05:00

Three weeks sleeping and sleeping, but yet, its time to go back. Emergencies, do not wait for Mr Fab to have his rest. Its time to go to work again.

The day starts like this, once its decided of where he should go, its time to wake up! 7:00am, Fab packs his clothes and few belongs in a 60l bag pack. An additional small buisness suitcase will be taken to fit the valuable stuff in it: work laptop, a hard drive with a few photos, music, and other things, the legendary ipod, and a headset. Lunch, its rather sad despite the efforts of the family trying their best to hide their worries and sadness to see him go again. Still its a very intense moment as each keeps inside his pain, but tries to enjoy as much as possible this time. The last lunch home was potatoes with savoyard cheese! Delicious! Thanks!!!

Time is for the ride to the train station, 20 minutes away from him. It nothing, indeed, but its certainly the worst journey on the way to work. It also time to HUG very deeply and lovely his mother. None of mum or fabrice cries, its a matter of respect for each other. Father will seat on the passenger side while fab will drive the car to the train station, just for the good fun of driving in a "civilized traffic". Arrived at the train station, while mum is certainly already crying rivers, dad have a coffe with him. As dad is very reserved and does not like to show his sorrow, he will leave before the train comes. A last big hug for him too, and father and son, are appart. Dad will certainly drive home and make sure that mum isn't going mad about it, after all, she does eventually got used to this come and go thing (she said). Fabs take a last sip of the coffe, and jumps in the train! This is the thinking, dreaming, wondering, scaring trip to Paris. Its when he has in his head all these things about what where why.... its a 2h30 journey. Thats more than enough to think of life for. Slowly the mind gets ready for the work to start. Its like this everytime, but everytime, its becoming more and more difficult to leave home for these first two journey. Then from the moment he is in Paris, it becomes easier... it like he is away for good already, and this makes it all a lot easier. He will have to spend one night in Paris to ensure that the plane is being taken ontime tomorrow. From the train station it will be underground to a nice area of Paris, where Fab has arranged to meet a friend. But first, he will find a hotel where to sleep for the night. Unlike usual most friend who could provide somewhere to squat, there is none this time. Hotel is found, time to standby till the evening, its 16:30.

22:15, out the hotel, walk for 15 minutes to the friend place, from St michel to Place Monge. Here she is, late but anyway here, they both walk to get the car some one km away from here, yeah, it isnt easy to park in paris! This friend is someone from pakistan, who happened to be from paris, and worth keeping in touch with as a friend from pakistan in France (through she is french...). A small party before bed time, and by 2:00am Fab is asleep at the hotel, with himself, of course!!! come on!

10;00am off to the airport, check out the hotel, underground, terminal, 2 hours wait, in the plane, flying over europe, and 2:30 local time, arrived in Dubai UAE. Hotel driver is here, so there he goes to the hotel, straight to bed, but not able to fall asleep before 4am, it will be a short night. Not much time to do anything, 8am, heading to the office, the mission now, is to pick up essential "Nomade" articles (mosquito net, toilet things, survival kit, and 50 kilos of tools), oh, and I forget, money, plane ticket, and mission infos.

12:00, Taxi is here, ride to the airport, check in (1h queue), terminal (1h), in the plane, flying over to Nairobi, Kenya! At last, arrived to work! now things almost start.... almost yeah... still, Somalia is where the real work start...

Fab will be in Nairobi for 6 days, time to sort permissions and security clearing to enter this hot spot. The first location to work in will be Mogadishu for 8 days. Mogadishu is the worst place in entire Somalia in terms of security, so things have been arranged so that permissions to enter come from the highest authorities possible, and that an immediate evacuation, if need be, is done easily. What does this mean ? well, the entire 8 days will be spent in a wall surrounded counpound near a runaway for the plane to take off. 400m to be accurate. This will allow quick escape, just in case things gets out of hand like its happening in Somalia for the last years. In the end, I hope this country will find its way to peace and unity for all. After Moga, will be two other towns for another 14 days, and then, who knows whats next after that....

Fab is stressed about it of course, its probably the most dangerous place he ever had to put his foot into. Its also going to be stressfull to be with only two other expates, in the middle of a warfield. But somehow, he will still go there. There are a million reasons to discuss about it, and probably two outcomes possible, Dead or alive.

I Wasn't to sure I'd write anything about this, but I guess its better to be said, just in case... I know its dangerous, and possibly deadly... But, its got to be done, I have escaped an other conflict before, by refusing to go, but then, in the end, I do have to pay a tribute for my collegues who went, when I didnt. And afterall, Im not yet about to leave this work, so what the heck, I go. Will see what happen, in the end, I do beleive, that the chances to be killed somewhere, are equal whether you are there or there, I beleive thats it all written, therefore, not eligible for stress overdose.

Anyway, no worries, im cool with it, I have had a great life so far, A one of a kind love once, and only once, reached a dream; that was to travel and see the world populations, do not be obsessed with money matters, a good health. The only thing I did not have yet, in this happy life, is a kid or many, and a loving wife to go with it, this will be once I have finished certain acheivment I got to do... anyway, its has not shown up yet, so why bother worrying about it, life does it all its own way, we can only decide to walk or stand.

To all readers, specially the one I know, and really also, a big Hug, and lots of love, from the deepest of my soul. Special message to 007: "I know you".

Take good care all, see you when you see me..... :)

Rest the last but not the least!

2006-12-22T16:04:00.000+05:00

At last, its time to get some rest...... pfffffff.... pfffff, this is a wierd moment, where confusion mixes up my mine as i have seriously lost any concept on the word "Home". I remember writting something about taking my home everywere I go... I guess it is still true, but god its been hard this year to even have time to think about home. This intense moving around has been a blomsom of experiences in the deepest parts of quite a few ccountries of africa! I have checked this year odometer, and it turned out that I have done more than 65000 miles by air this year, and more than 10000Km by car in the last 5 months! Checked in/out an estimated 6o hotels, and slept in about 50 different places that were peoples place, outside, offices and so forth! I have been home 2 times since last december, and spent 2 month seeing the family, the rest of this has been 10 months on the move. more than 30 flight were taken, and I went via paris in transit 9 times this year!

Tonight will be my departure for France at 2345, thats the last flight of the year, hopefully!!!!!!

When I arrive home, it will be some xmas spirit already in all minds but then, at the moment, I have no clear idea of where i'll stand in that! of course, and as it always does now, Ill be more confortable with it after a few hours back in europe! it always does that, you arrive in a new place, you feel it with you eyes and hears, and then an hour later, you are settlted in your headspace again. Not that you know really where you are but physically, but you know where you are in your head within your head. In fact, its like if my environment has shrinked to the size of a water melon. Its not important anymore where my body goes, its where my head goes that matter. In the end, when you travel extensively and alone, you loose all your marks to which you would usually refer to for guidance in all you do. The same way you use your memories of a particular moment to try and replicate the same action with no errors, you find yourself refering to a lot more things you carry in your head to manage your life in the outside environement. Its actually hard to explain this to myself, and I feel that Im writting none sense right now, as i dont exactly know what this is all about. I have not been updating this blog for sometime, simply because I have had not a single moment to think about it, or energy to take the time to work on it. Its been hectic and fantastic, but now im glad to go home! I'll probably be off for 2 month from now, but who knows what emergency may rise in 2007!

I have learned a lots of things this year, technics, cultures, peoples..... and 2007 will be the time to put it all in application for the next expriences! Below I ve put a few pictures of the recent places I have been to...
In order from up to down: Mauritius Airport, Nkayi - Congo RoC, Cameroon - Yaounde - Roger Milla the football legend, Madagascar - Fabrice and Fabrice, Madagascar - Anbrossary - Croco, Madagascar - Aboassary, Madagascar - Lemurien -Amboassary, Madagascar - Abovombe - Two beautiful girls

Senegal - Dakar

2006-10-13T16:57:00.000+05:00

Quick stop before Bissau (below), then tonight another stop there, maybe more photos... "Ile Senegal" just of the cost of Dakar, and below, the biggest mussle I have ever had in my plate, I was rather expecting these tiny orange one, like in brittany....

2006-10-13T15:50:00.000+05:00

This is a few pictures from what Bissau looks like, Creole is a language I dont really master at all, but I manage to get around with french! I had a great time over here, and head this afternoon for Dakar Senegal! Tonight should be pretty cool, I'll hopefully meet up with a friend family and relax at least for tonight! Tomorrow, is off to Doula via Abijan, where I'll roam around the country for 16 days of hardcore duty!! yeahhhhh..... I can't wait to have some holidays....

Next Destination

2006-09-27T11:41:00.000+05:00

Small update:

Leaving Thursday 29th, West africa.

1) Dubai - Milan (6 hours) - Dakar (8 hours) - Guinea Bissau (15 days)
2) Guinea Bissau - Paris (??) - Cameroon (10 Days)
3) Cameroon - Paris (??) - Brazaville (15 Days)

Return to Dubai.

For the moment I'm staying in Duabi and having a lots of work, but still a lots of fun anyway. Hard to find the time to write in here, but surely I'll soon get bored, or inspired soon to write some more interesting stuff on here, I guess Pakistan was one of the most inspiaring place since I started this blog!

Centrale African Republic

2006-09-14T15:01:00.000+05:00

Welcome to the Centrale African Republic! Here is a totally different scenario to the previous two countries! We are now 5 degrees north of the equator, and yet the vegetation is much more somptuous than previously! 60m high trees, very black people, Magnoc is predominantly cultivated, and resources abondant! However, this is also still africa, which means that; corruption, famine, rebellion, road banditery are a part of the "system".

I arrived here early this week, and will leave this saturday, so its not much time to make an opinion of a place with many hidden secrets! Tension is here, people are agressive in asking you money all the time, and getting ripped off is what to expect when buying anything! Womens look at you like if you were a walking golden stick, and mans follows you like if you had something for them! Anyhow, there is still peace of mind to who knows how to talk to them.
I went to a place called Bouar, in the north west of the country, there, it is very rural with a lots of magnoc farms. They live in reddish bric houses all located by the main road.They are very very friendly! A smile is sufficient to wake up a crowed of kids around you! The scenary, is very green with a lots of trees, its a semi-jungle like landscape! There are not really much to see apart from trees and bushes! The aera, is also under constant pressure with the bandits coming from Tchad. Unfortunately, its an aweful drama up there, due to them! They attack constantly villages, rape womens, kill children and entire families, just to get robe the very little these have. They turn upsidedown entire villages to get nothing sometimes! People are scared, but have no choice than to keep their business running, and try to sell their magnoc by the road side! I will always have a deep respect and admiration for theses so poor people, but yet so beautiful in there hearts and so courageous! My feeling about CAR are not yet clear, and I wouldnt like to give the wrong impression to anyone, and certainly not to myself, so, as usual, I ll paste a few pictures here. Meanwhile I'll try to know a little bit more about this very mystic place!

Wierd!

2006-09-03T01:13:00.000+05:00

These days I dont really know much what to write, things are getting settled in something looking like a complete psychological chaos, of course, im talking about where I stand within my own thoughts. The restless flow of wonders and questions passing by my brain cells and stimulating all sorts of stressing epilogue on what to do with it. The pace at which I live, feels so fast. Mostly I dont get the energy and time to write anything. Its just the way it is lately. being in new country for as short as 10 days, and then jump onto another one for the same time. Visiting the four corners of a country in a short time like this makes it feel like you been there for long time. Then yet, you are already in a new place with new people and tasks. Its all very intense! I will have a little more time now in Mauritania, and will have the time to breath and sleep. I guess its what I need, then I shall be able to handle the move around a little more! Next week, Ill be in Centrale African Rep, a mutinery has taken place there, and despite my efforts to work out the danger level of this area, I didn't find much on it. So will see, surely ill be up here to tell you about it, inshallah!

hmm... well, I guess thats all I had to write tonight, I did feel very motivated for writting something but then, it just has all vanished... I guess its a good sign... means I dont have to wonder about anything then.... or should I? should I actually wonder about the fact of having nothing to say? Nevermind!!! pfff.....

I wish you all best of love and luck, love life, love everyone. Stop messing with yourself and trying to find answers to things you are not yet granted to know about. It will come on its time, and you wont have anything to wonder about it!

Love.

Note: Don't hink ill read this post as Im not exactly sure why I wrote it and what I wrote in it... wierd..

Transport sharing!

2006-09-02T07:13:00.000+05:00

Why should they walk when they can get a lift?

House of the world

2006-09-02T01:48:00.000+05:00

As previously, its time for a new house! This time, it will be two houses. Ethnics diversity in this country is one of the biggest in Africa, therefore, there is a lots of different types of houses, I have chosen some of them to give you a sample idea of what it looks like around here. Two different styles: Saharian & Sub-Saharian! More late, I have to go now! (will edit later).

2000 Kms journey of joy!

2006-08-31T03:42:00.000+05:00

Im almost done with this hectic journey through south Mauritania. I had no idea, once more and as always, I discovered just one more of the wonders that nature has donated! Going on this long journey round the bush to do the job, sounded like a rather tiering thing, but at this stage, after the 1900Km we have done in 2 days, 100 Km seems like 10, and 3 hours sleep, like 6! The reward of course, is to see the unbelievable scenaries Mauritania has to offer! Anyway, since my great friend and brother from Pakistan asked me for Dunes, I guess its time to start the show!

This is just for you "Baba", you asked for Dunes, so here is my gift :-) I hope Pakistan is going along, soon you will be rewarded! Home sweet home! Ill write up some more soon, but very much on the move at the moment! Im sure you know how it goes!

This is when the green comes in! Animals here are free, they have so much flat and free space, it would probably take a life time to get across! Of course, the "Berger" aren't far, and alsway know where to find their troops at sunset!

I love africa, and trust me, its a much richer land that some thinks, its probably far beyond a lot of people's concept of happiness, but a smile like this, is on every face here, and yet, they have nothing. I Could't resist put up the below one, we stopped there to buy milk, straight out of the cow, and these kids bought me even more happiness! Tomorrow, I'll see them again!

Note for my friend below:

J'espere que tu verras cette photo, meme si je sais que tu n'arrivera peut etre pas a la trouver, faute d'internet, je sais que peut etre, tu liras ce message que nous avons laisser pour toi! Bonne chance, et que Allah te protege!

Keyve hallouka, ya akhi.Nahnou vi kaedi, nousselimou ka. Allah ya awnak ente wo khaimatak. Ahlen wo sahlen.

Mauritania (Western Africa Coast)

2006-08-26T20:32:00.000+05:00

MMauritania, has suffered a lots of political tourments, and almost annual "coup d'etats" since a decade! Its probably on its way again at some point this year, but people seem to have got use to it. It also has been in conflicts with Morocco, and Senegal, for economic and territorial difference!

Its also a 700 Km white sand beach sea front. Petrol has been recently found here, and of course, foreign companies have started emerging in the capital, encouraging a rise in price of everything! Hotels have now trippled their prices in some places! 25% of the Mauritanian population is in the capital Nouakchott, and the diversity ethnologic present here is impressive!

If you have Google Earth INSTALLED, Download this, and open it! :-)

Here (in the north of the country), you can find the longest trains in the world (G.earth click here), which relay the Fer mines cargos to the port!

This vast and infinite beach and green see so far retained most of my attention! But lets see what else there is when I return from the in-coutry trip (see map).
Distances across the country are huge, and tomorrow, when I'll leave for the begining of the mission, I'll hopefully be prepared for some of the longest trips by road I have ever done! "Aioun" is at more than 1000 Kms from Nouakchott, and all this as to be done in one go on the return! Youpiee!!! :)

Anyway, hopefully I will have a lot more picture soon! I'll be back on Wednesday, inshallah. But so far I really like this dry and desert country!

Few pictures from Burkina Faso

2006-08-26T17:37:00.000+05:00

Unfortunately, I didn't get too much time to picture around in burkina, but at least I took a few picture from the roads on my way through the work itinary.

I didnt know that crocodiles are a sacred reptile (in BKF)! like the cow is to India,while the lovely Geko (the one that wakes you up at 4:00 in the morning) is evil, and must be killed when inside a house (apparently, the Geko would bring bad luck, and could be used by the "voodoos"' to spell cast darkness) !

On the road between Fada N'gourma and Dori, its about 4 hours drive, and you do need to have a 4WD during the rainny season! You might also want at time to have a swimming suit on while sitting in the car, you never know, it could all suddenly swing!

Burkina Faso (Western Africa)

2006-08-25T13:44:00.000+05:00

I know it has been along time since I have not updated anything here, but when I'm home, I have no good internet, and also a lots of other things to focus on. I had a great time back home and enjoyed spending my time with the family doing nothing but relaxing, swiming, and regular gym!

Now I am back on track, and already, I should speak in the past of the Burkina Faso! I arrived in Dubai around the 2nd of August, and after spending a suprising 2 weeks there,I was eventually sent to an other mission than the one they were planning for me. In fact, when I was in france I was told I would go for some south american countries, which I was honestly really happy to go to ( i have never been to south america), but at last, it came up with a delay! So meanwhile I had to do something else, untill the other missions gets confirmed.

Round the 15th of August, I arrived in Ouagadougou, the capital of this little country that is Burkina Faso (use to be called "Haute Volta"). It is surrounded by Ghana, Mali, Niger, Ivory cost, Benin. Its a small country and you can easily get across in a long day of drive! For my side, I only roamed around the eastern side and the capital! With only 8 days, I had to rush a little everything and get my stuff done on time! I stopped by the towns of: Ouagadougou, Fada N'gourma, Dori and Bani where I spent a night (except Bani)! It is a very nice feeling to be able to communicate in your own language! Indeed, in Burkina Faso, people speak French as a primary language, at least in the capital and big cities! I had to catch up with my french which has been the least of my words for the last two years living in my suit case! I will remember most from this sample I got of Burkina Faso, the kindness of the people, the roads flooded of water, the Malienne Mosques of Bani, and of course all the people which I had the honor to spend time with!

I dont have much time right now to write much, but at least this is what I could do for now. Ill paste below a few pictures more!

"I Take my life everywhere but Home"

2006-06-07T12:19:00.000+05:00

Dedicated to a one of a kind amazing human! (check link: "A Great Human being")

Its now only two weeks to go before the start of my holidays, its been 5 months spent in Pakistan, and its been an other mind expanding and twisting experience! I can only now, 7 days away from the end, feel the release of this undercover stress that has been accumulating during all this time. Its like its slipping out of my body little by little and whenever I take the time to look at it releasing me!

This is how it does since I have started this work. It’s a cocktail of emotions and discovery in everything who makes me. Before, when I was in Europe, it was a whole lot different, although I was living in different country and de-rooting myself all the time to experience the life in new countries all the time. I was near home, just a country away from France. I often get asked the question: “Where are you from? Where do you live?”. This is one of the trickiest question to answer for me. Or at least its been until quite recently! What should I say? Oh, I am from France, Brittany more exactly! Or should I say: “ hmm, I don’t actually know dear!”. Either way, it shows that there is something unusual in me that makes me end up in this kind of unexpected troubles.

This goes with the fact that, apart from my parents and two brother, I don’t really have anyone that cares about me. This means that if my family was not there, I would definitely a nomad! I would not necessarly need to go to France on a regular bases. I would not really belong to there! I have moved house about 12 times throughout my childhood, and until the age of 19. By the time, I reached 19, I had lived in all sorts of area which is not city! Country side, small village, small towns, away from pretty much everything a city can bring. Then, by 19, I somehow started moving on my own, and again, from one country to an other. Until I start this humanitarian work, I had moved through 5 different country, and in each lived a life like every others, just like if this country was going to be my new home! However, everysingle time a new country becomes my home, its starting over the whole process of assuming that France is my home! Now that I am on mission, things have taken a higher pace, and rather than starting again a new life every time I land somewhere, I now skip this part where I find a job, I look for a flat..etc, this is all gone now, and everytime I go on a new mission, I already have with me my home! My home is myself, and my suitcase! There is nothing else material in my life that follows me in my life! My suit case is all I have when living for months in a place! What more would I need anyway! There is so much happening around already, that by the time I dropped my suitcase, I have already too much discovered around me to worry about this “little” thing. Im going to be living here and there for while, and whether I have a house/home to myself , is not relevant to what is going to become my life! The people I meet, and spend time with are my life, the things I do to change things or to understand are my life! The rest, doesn’t matter really! It all just a question of having been brought up with roots that reminds me that I am French.

I try to go home as much as I can, but so far, in the last two years I have only managed to return home 3 times and for periods of 6 weeks maximum! Sometimes, I feel guilty, I feel that I am not being a good child to not spend more time with my parents. My loving family which has been the ones to provide me with that special love I needed to keep me on track at times. The best part of this, is that they all understand, and despite the sadness it generates sometimes, they only want me to be happy and do what I have to do. What I have to do is enjoy and live as much as possible of this life journey, its to make sure that everyday I live is a useful and energizing day! And love does not mean possession to neither of us! Love is the key, wherever I am, whatever I do, they are always here in my heart and on the first seat! If ever, I m asked to return home, I will, but on their end they will never do that, because they know I have to live, the de-count started the day I m born! And there’s no time to loose, cause everyday is step further on my journey! This love with the family is unbreakable!

“I take my life everywhere, but not home” why do I say that. Well, if you think about it, my life is for 85% of the year in mission, somewhere in the world, and having defined a little more what’s my home and family while on mission, I see that after all I have with me all I need to call it my life out there. We also often define home as the place we spend most of the time! I spend most of the time with my suitcase & family love, so in a way, I guess that’s where I’m from. A normal life in a strange package!  But all in all its exactly the same as if I was home with them all the time! Except that here, it intensify the love to its edge! My home with family is in my head and heart! The rest, it does not matter. When I go home, I am on holidays! Surprisingly, going home, is me without stress, without the suitcase, and environement, me without this daily discoveries and people. When I go home, its just to relax and enjoy physical presence of my family, share time with them, and not think about anything of life. To resume it simply, think about the one with a daily job in a banque, and a small family! Imagine, that this person, goes on holidays, he lives behind him/her is home and marks. He goes away from home! And when he return, its welcome back! Back to work, to the friends, to the Sunday bingo! Its back to “Normal” again! For me, it’s the opposite, my friends, my suitcase sized home, and my family love is with me all the time, but when I return, I remain with only my family! Everything else has vanished! The discovery, the new cultures, the friends from dubai… just everything! So when I get home, somehow, its like I left my “home” for holidays!

My life is made of the people I meet like you Geirr, and like all the others! Its my family and you all. So, when I don’t have you all, these people of the world, I don’t feel at home! I have to pay a visit to everyone, and see everyone’s home and culture! That is where my life is! And as my family is in my heart is all I need!

A twisting story

2006-05-22T09:39:00.000+05:00

This last Saturday, at about 10:00am, I was waken by a phone call from a friend (Pakistani) who wanted to invite me for lunch at his place. I had previously been able to go on previous calls as I had always found something else to do. However, this time, I decided that it was the right time for me to go there, and live something different. The culture here, and the way people leave is very discreet to the outsiders, and unless you really know someone to go in their so close home, you will not get to know or see what is really happening inside these closed houses.

I decided to go there, and got ready to jump in a cab to head towards his place. This friend of mine (Chokot) lives in a place called Rawilpindi. It is right next to Islamabad, through, its a completely different standard of living there. Islamabad is gathering most of the richest people in Pakistan, and sparkle huge signs of upper class town. When I arrived, he was there in the street waiting for us (me & taxi) to arrive and show us where to precisly go to reach his very hidden place. Through some very narrow street where you could certanly fit at most two donkeys side by side, we found a metal green gate to a main building coridor. He was happy to have me on that special day off. On the week end, in this country and most of the muslim countries I have been to before, the mans like to enjoy relaxing all day and doing nothing but chatting with friends, sleeping and eating. I was here to have a more accurate sample of this saying, and check this out by myself. What is exactly happening in those closed houses on the week ends. First of tho, I was there to enjoy being with this friend, and try spend some great time chilling and tasting the locally made food. His "House" looked more like an old appartement on the ground floor. It was separated from the corridor by a thin metal door, that was not even reaching the selling, leaving some space for looks from people going up the stairs across his main door. Once you passed this door, it was then a rectangle type of entrance hall in his appartement. All around the rectangle shaped hall, there was doors. In the middle, it was the water tank with its top opening in the middle of that room. For security purpose, it was covered with a ciment cap. He lead me to his room on the left end side. He didnt show me the other rooms, or anything else, straight as I walk in his home, we took me there. It was his own room in all these doors. All the other rooms, were just for each other members of his family living there. His brother lived next door, his father was also living in that place, and so did everyone from his family! The womens were also here that day, but I did not get much to see of them, ill come back on this later.

In his room, was a bed, a cupboard, 4 chairs including two made out of plastic bucket. He invited me to seat there and have some rest while he was going to look for a friend to join us. He left me with his only child: "Abdoullah"! Very soon, I was surrounded by all the childrens of the house! There was Saad, Abdoullah, Oussama, Soha (girl), and probably an other 4 childrens around me. They were entertained by my look, and talks. It's not everyday that they have a guest looking like me. White, looking strange and sounding funny! While I was sitting on the bed, and having fun with the kids, I noticed how much the women were hidding from me. They were in the kitchen, right across the rectangle hall. On the Room door of where I was, the Sheet was pulling on and off to hide away the kitchen. Everytime a children was passing by, the sheet was carefully put back so that it hides the vision of the kitchen. The childrens were beautiful, they all had their particular charms but all looked awesome! The ages were from 4 months to 10 years old! The 4 months little daugther of Chokot's brother (my friend) was brought to me by one of the 4 years old kids. It was incredible to see that these kids just get so self managed so quickly without the attention of any adults! Through, soon I was about to learn the drawback of letting kids by their own! First, my friend returned, he was accompained of his good old friend which was a women beauty hairdresser. He came in the room, and sat down opposite of me whom was on the bed. Chokot sat next to me, and we started talking a little. The problem was that I cannot speak much Urdu at all, and he cannot speak much English neither! This meant that we shared a lots of silence together during all this time! I arrived there at about 1200 but only eat something much later at around 1600. All the time we were in his room, we were saying not much, entertain the kids, and hear the womens working very hard in the kitchen.

As we were sitting in the room still, he came up with a terrible story! Something I didnt expect to hear, or even less to see! At some points, he started telling me about his daughter. She was probably a year old when this happened. He pointed out to me the main corridor (the same one I came in the first time) and told me: "It's there Fabrice, Its there that she died!" He wasnt displaying a particular emotion on his head at this time, but certainly wasn't talking about something good that happen. He explain to me that he did not only have this kid I had met (Abdoullah), but that he also had a little girl before that! When he told me about her being dead there, and seeing that he looked confortable about it, I asked him: " What happened, how could it happen?".
Chokot: "She was there, found in the water".
I: "What you mean in the water?"
Chokot: "Yes, let me show you picture".
He looked into his drawers from the cupboard and searched for a photo. He showed me a photo of his daughter, she looked beautiful! Abdoullah, who was with us, screamed out the name of his sister! saying, she is not here, no more.. not here! He wasnt crying or anything, but just shouting out loud her name and saying that she was not here no more.

I was a little worried about asking him more about it, cause I Could not understand this water thing, and why she was dead! So I asked him to tell me more if he could.

Chokot said: "Come with me, I will show you".
I followed him to the main corridor which he was pointing out to previously. We arrived there, and he pointed out to me an humble metal made door. Openened it, and unvealed a Turkish type toilet little room.
Chokot: " She is dead here, right here". He pointed out the bucket that was behind the door!
Just there, there was a blue standard bucket, which you would use for any cleaning purpose in the house. Certainly the Blue bucket was 40Cm high, and just below a water tape emerging from the wall above.
Chokot:" She was washing her hands here, and the soap felt in the bucket...then..".
At this stage I didnt need no more explanation, I was astonished by the aweful accident! Their little daughter of a year old, drawn in a 40cm high bucket filled half way with wather! I stopped him from talking more, and simply and spontanously took him in my arms! I could only feel a fraction of the pain he must have been through, but it was absolutely terrible! This bucket I was seeing there, was the one in which his 1 year old daughter died! I could do nothing, but to give him a big hug, and drop a tear!

He was so calm, and self controlled when talking about it. He did see the horror on my face, and we went back into his room in silent. Soon after this he showed me the hand of one of the other children, he was missing a finger, he had put it in a water pump properller. It showed how much the children are at risks sometimes. They may seem very advance in a lots of things, like walking and sorting themselves out, but it also arent that easy sometimes for them to live so free and close to dangers.

As were cruised along the afternoon relaxing, and doing nothing in the room, the womens of the house where cooking all this time and had at no point been allowed to really spend any presence in the same room than the mans. I have bearly seen them, and I have not had the chance even to actually meet his wife at all. I know that she was one of the women that were cooking there, but didnt know which...

The whole experience of spending a day, at this place was an amazing discovery of what lies behind these close door, which arent very open to strangers. The food was delicious, and despite the terrible story, it was a great afternoon! I enjoyed all of it, bits by bits, and will never forget such a day! If you get the chance, spend a day in a house with these beauiful people!

House of the World (II)

2006-05-13T12:07:00.000+05:00

Here we are, second edition for "House of the World". Last was a Sudanese typical house, here is a typical low class, but very popular type of setup when entering the nothern area! Here this picture was taken in the area of Pattan! Earthquake proof house aren't an option for the people with low income, unfortunately, most of the population lives in theses onditions. conditions.

Chinese prints

2006-05-13T12:02:00.000+05:00

One, of the many, Chineses prints on the KKH.

Local Clothes

2006-05-13T11:53:00.000+05:00

Yes, sometimes its also good to adopt the local culture, and enjoy fully being in Pakistan as a local rather than a humanitarian worker! I like to embrasse culture fully when I travel, its part of the travel itself, and generate so much more! its a step forward to understand better, and be better understood with the place you are in!

Friends

2006-05-13T11:36:00.000+05:00

(Priit, Marko, Vladim, Myself)

Waterfall on the way to Dassu

2006-05-10T19:49:00.000+05:00

KKH to Dassu

2006-05-09T09:01:00.000+05:00

Sunday, we decided to have a day off and to head north for a ride. "we" is the Estonian and Finnish guys who I hang with since I have arrived in Battagram last week. Being here for a little while has allowed me to have some time to socialize a minimum. Anyway, off we go! We decided to go there with two cars as some more people wanted to join the amazing ride.

Our destination, "Dassu", also known as Dusso or Dussu depending on the language, is located 73Km north of Besham, itself located 35 Km from Battagram. Through distances gives a rough idea of the time it should take, here its a completely different story. In time, it takes 3 hours from Battagram to Besham, and count another 2h15 to do Besham - Dassu! a total of 5 h 15 to do 108Km! Nevertheless, it feels like a 2 hours journey! The road is simply the most amazing one I have ever seen! 4 of us in this Toyota buffalo 4wd watching the scenary with speechless thoughts! Pakistan by far, ahead of any place I can think of, is the most stunning, suprising, powerful and fullfilling nature country! During this journey, we came across 7 water falls, including at least 3 of them with more than 1000m falls of water straight out from the source!

Numerous marks of the chinese work are visible on the way, and particulary the bridges! Along the road there is a very strong presence of the China/Pakistan friendship which took place to build this road!

(to be continued...)

on the fly

2006-05-03T23:04:00.000+05:00

Pakistan experience is such a different experience to the previous one, sudan. Here it is such different emotions I go through. I arrived here on the 5th of Febulary 2006. It may appear as a small amount of time till now, but in fact it is a gradualy increasing experience of stress, and what it can really do. In the meantime, I am at a crossing of where rational becomes an option rather than an obvious essential thing. But when it has been 3 month under some extreme cultural and social frustration without a week to recover from it somewhere esle, it becomes an obsession to return to reality! Reality in this sense is the life you use to have, the confortable mind where your use to know! At this stage, you loose motivation and you think that maybe its all enough.,, After all, you dont have to do this, you dont have to take all that shit, and live this life for that.

Here you are, at the crossing of your options, you choose to take it, and accept all the understanding and fundamental behavior changes it inccur. Or you just decide to leave and restore a balance that you though up to know to be right. You then choose to forget what you just discovered to get yourself confortable with who you've become!

I have choose to go for it, and understand what this stress is generating in me, and what are the other sides I am not looking at while being under this constant pressure from stress. Stress is unattended, and it just pops up without clear warnings. And when you do find out it is here, you then also realise that it's very late in the process to counter strike! Through this was for me a huge challenge, the more I stay here, the more I realise why I am here, and what makes this job and experience the most amazing I've ever had! It took just a trip to the field again this week, to do some work. Going there by car was again an other amazing piece of beautiful feelings! Meeting with these people of Pakistan and knowing that you are here to try and help them as much as you can is such an amazing moment! I love to be here with these people, and share a tea with them, In the end, what matters is what's the most reliable for you, sorrows and wounds arent good to have, and when you are with these people you don't get disapointed. It always a simple and straight thing, its just so easy. Being there and also someway sharing your time with these people is one of the most saticefying and rewarding feeling of all. This, is enough for me to know that I am a privilegier, and that I should be thanksful at all time about this gift of discovering something else, some other part of myself I had never been aware of before. The Nature here is amazing, just as full of emotion as the whole experience itself! In the end, it make you wonder and probably understand that so many people on this planet have to beleive there is a god. I have no religions, but I do see the concept of religion beleif, This nature we are living in, and being part of, is so beautiful and powerful, that it offer no other explanation than magie! Even if science one day demonstrate the A+B of everything, they will, in the meantime demonstrate how uncredible this all is!

Everything's cool! looking forward to home, but not before its all done here! I'l make it... inshallah! :)

Weed is all over the place

2006-04-27T08:45:00.000+05:00

I had not noticed it before so obvious it was. There is week all around the place and in every green bush you can see. People here dont even bother cutting it as it grows like a savage plante. IT would be a rough fight to try stopping this bad herbs! Pakistan as always been the main hashish manufacter througough history, and nowadays, when its so hard to find elsewhere, it grows in your surrounding like petrol stations in towns! Anyway, interesting discovery!

Refering to the previous post... (Break Ups)

2006-04-26T13:57:00.000+05:00

I took the previous post out of a Canadian magazine " The Sociology of the Breakup". I've certainly cutted off a few parts of it as they did not retain my wish to keep them. However, I did have a certain suprise when getting through there and recognising some patterns I have been going through myself for the last 3 years and till now.

I am stuck on the "Reflection" part still. Its lasting for ever and leaves me wondering about "Only after a passage of time will this come. I have realized that there can never ever be a set length of time to get over someone. Pack your lunch, its going to be awhile." in the last phase "Moving On".

Up to now, I could not even imagine thinking about the "Repression" part. But as things dont move and constantly make me feel like to die, and despite my so intense love feelings for her still, I start to see the light of an extremely sad and humiliating conclusion to my phsychic love disorder (thats how I feel like to call it). I will do, go through this repression part at last (i dont hope, but hope), force myself to hate and destroy all the so beautiful images I stored. Its like she kinda helped me so much with getting to this stage I so much didnt wish for. My only rescue is to run, like everyone else, (despite the conviction that this story was just not like all the others) I have no choice but to dig into this phase of false hate, where you have to find reasons for hate to escape the pain of reality ... I have tried so much, I have done thousand kilometers, phone calls, mails, tears, ego sacrifices... but in vain, never got a little reply that could have help me just to get on a smooth transition to "Moving On" without having this ugly "Repression" part at all. Mind you what about if she is well over all this and passed the "Repression" part all the way down to Conclusion, whatever this may be??

Where my "writting to yourself" therapy works, is that as I am reading what I just wrote, I dont beleive a single second that I can go through the "Repressive" phase, despite the aweful pain she's causing me... I have just given myself a little more force to understand and try to cope with the thing. Not all my hopes are gone, and one day I hope I be able to think again straigh about love.

Whatever phase she is in, if still anywhere in that, I guess its the way it goes for all, and we no exception, its just frustrating to have a so real vision of love when things turns to be, in the end, like everyone elses.

pffff, enough.

This sounds familar ? Break ups...

2006-04-26T13:25:00.000+05:00

There is a pain that is unmistakable and unimaginable unless you are actually experiencing it. The emotional pain of breaking up is unlike any other pain that you can feel. No nerve being shred, nor severance of flesh that can ever replicate the feeling of a break-up. You can have an open wound surgery without anaesthetic and it would still not equal to the softest psychological sundering of a relationship between two people.

Utter Shock:

It is at this moment when the emotional Hiroshima happens. It usually sounds like "I don't love you anymore." Or in some cases, it is followed up with a Nagasaki of "I left you for Bill/Jane." Or in some rare cases; "I left you for Bill & Jane."
Utter Shock is perhaps one of the most rare extremes of human emotions any person will feel aside from death, marriage and child birth. Revel in it, soak it up poor puppy. Once you hit ocean bottom, it only gets better.

Reflection: "Why the hell did this happen?"

This stage occurs after the initial shock subsides. You search yourself for reasons why this happened and reflect upon it. Sometimes it comes to a point where you make up reasons, or convolute reasons on why this happened. Often this is an attempt to insulate the hurt mind while you weather the pain of the break up. This can be related to an "emotional coma" of sorts. I find that not planning anything beyond the scope of a daily bases is the only way to survive this self induced emotional coma. You can tell when you're better off when the other person can't own up to their mistakes that lead up to the utter execution of your relationship. Time is best spent surrounded by friends who will not be saying stupid things to you like: "Oh well." "Deal with it."
Longing: "Shit I miss him/her." "Wanting them back... take me back please?" It is at this stage the human psyche experiences an intense feeling of loneliness. Regardless of their faults, or the faults in oneself, the person wishes more than anything to be with that other person. This is often a phase where post break-up sex tactics are employed. As if breaking up were not any easier, either party may or may not "prolong the magic". Awkward visits, stalking and abusive and continuous phone calls predominate this. This is one of the most dangerous stages as most couples will regress into their previous relationship.

Repression: "Screw it. I hate her/him."

It is at this stage that a method of coping is dealt with. Nothing can be more therapeutic than realizing how much the other person was a fuck-nut case. Usually one realizes how much stupid shit and hoops you jumped through to gain, maintain, and sustain the love you felt for this person.

Moving on: "Yeah, Fuck it. I'm better off without him/her."

This is the final stage of a break up. Only after a passage of time will this come. I have realized that there can never ever be set length of time to get over someone. Pack your lunch, its going to be awhile. One of the major hurdles that needs to be crossed is the reestablishment of what can be called Belief in Self. In a break-up there is an immense amount of psychological damage. This damage is dealt as both sides try to reconcile their differences and place blame. Much of this results in depreciation of the other half and self-depreciation. Its fair to note that both sides suffer the same ill effects. Both parties suffer the same stages. Though to be fair, the one that "does the damage" suffers less from Utter Shock than the victim does.The most obvious danger posed to most victims is to fall into another relationship. Aptly known as "Rebounding", this effectively retards the recovery stages to a point where a person does not fully "find themselves" after the breakup.

Conclusions: Karmic Mysticism

There is something Karmic about break-ups. What you do will eventually come back to you. I have found that if you break up with someone for a particular reason, it will come back to you. It will generally be so painfully obvious that my reaction is to giggle like a school girl and think. "Damn, serves me right."
I have also learned that the amount of time and effort you put into a relationship is directly proportional to the amount of pain you will swallow in later. Hence, a half-assed relationship, will result in half-assed break-up with little closure. Surprise! The end result is a bittersweet lesson for you. Suffice to say, relationships and their enfolding slaughter-like ends are social facts. They exist and will always happen regardless of how we map our life to avoid them. It’s only through surviving them and in what we do with ourselves afterwards that matters the most.

Office roof.....

2006-04-12T13:18:00.000+05:00

Just been on the roof of the office to have some meditation time up there. I have always loved being on the roof anywhere I go. It did not happen so offen as I wished, but still, I have been always sitting on a roof when I had my moments of deep personal reflection. Of course when these happen, I have right after it a need to share, a need to express these things inside my head, just because, it has become so rare to share anything with anyone in Europe. The same way you dont forget your language completly, after not practicing for a long time, you loose contact with your society and forget so many simple things you use to do all the time... Sometimes, I think that its just incredible to see how the mind and human soul can adapt to all sorts of situation. Adapt to no women in the streets, no bed, no name, no nationality.... Hear the eternal sound of the Mosque every morning, day, evenings.... Eat in restaurant everydays, pack the house on a weekly bases.... just so many things which the mind has to change and take in.

When I was in Chengdu, China, I use to go often on the roof. There I had joy, desperation and fun many times. Everytime, when I reach a roof, and sit there in the sun or in the rain, I cannot start anything without remembering Eiffel 65 (blue) on chengdu's roof. Anyway, just to say that its certainly for me up there that I can free up my mind the most. Today, I have been thinking about my home... a little only, I have just bought a house, but I have never really seen it. I am doing a morgage, but I have not really signed the papers..... I have my motobike, my car and a house now which, I should only see for two month this year....

I have also been thinking about the 17th of April, it is a beautiful day for humanity and a so terrible wound of myself. It probably the one date I could remember more than my own birth... Remembering this day, is just like if I wanted to die.... Anyway, this also went through my mind up there... what a deep moment this one is....

About woman, its been a long time since I have had any contacts at all with a women, even for a chit chat meal.... The last time I must have shared a coffe with a ladie must have been in early january.... The last time I felt love, probably, 2 years ago, and then it was not even that., I have met real love once in my life.... Now thinking that it should remain like this, at least I wont end up screwed. Its just such an extremely long & painful effort to recover and beleive that love exists still..

I just needed to write. This blog is the best place I found, it does not have a location, it doesnt have an identity but the one you give to it may be read by someone who understands me, and accessible from where ever I go! what a faithful partner. I enjoy it all... Sudan was an amazing experience, and I miss it sometimes, Pakistan is an other amazing one with a completely different patchwork of experiences. But in the end, it is an other beautiful experience of permanent discovery... Its only when you get down to the core of yourself that you find a good and positive vision on things.. before you get to the core, that's when you pass by all the difficult moment...
Reaching your goal depends a lot on how you understood and lived your journey to it.
;-)

Sleeping in the fear of an earthquake

2006-04-12T09:18:00.000+05:00

Thought I would write something about the fear it makes to you when you are sleeping and spending time in a building which could be wiped out by a single earthquake. Lately, I am spending a lot of time in Islamabad. I am sharing a very ugly and poor flat with 3 of my collegues who are also working with my Team. The place is infested with caokroaches, mouskito's, and gas smells. In pakistan almost every heating systems works with city gas. However, the pipes in the buildings are just not up to any ISO convention like we would have elsewhere in Europe, but it is just home made pipes sometimes which just lead into each flat and end with a standard valve tap. Just like you would turn on the tap of a shower. Most of the time, and it is the case in our place, we only have a pipe coming out of the wall in case you need..... just turn the tap on accidently, and soon there will be no tap, no building... just that! On the other hand I have taken into account that the people here live differently and are use to these settings, therefore, it might just be as safe as bungee jumping! This tho, is not the thing that worries me the most at evenings. Last earthquake in October last year hitted the area I am living in, one of the building next door has collapsed and killed a lot of people, including some UN staff (6). Seeing the building, you would not beleive such a thing can happen, I'll take a picture whenever I can of what is left there. Having been in two pretty strong earthquake since I have started the mission, I am now very worried about sleeping at night. Most of the earthquakes happen at night while people are sleeping. It lasts for a second or 2 ! The move you feel when the first wave and its shock wave come beneth where you are is of an incredible power! It is not just bouncing everything around you and last for long like we see in the movies, but it usualy just send one big shock in the bulding and freaks out the entire city! Anyway, just wanted to say that I really feel sad for the people who have to live with it! I dont know if I could myself assume such a life where everynight you close your eyes, might be the last of your life.....

Lovely reading...

2006-04-08T17:10:00.000+05:00

The Karakoram Highway known as K.K.H., has been cut through the highest and the mightiest mountains of the world, that is, the Himalayas and the Karakorams. This Highway connects Pakistan with the People's Republic of China via Khunjrab pass (16,200 feet above sea level) beyond which lies the sprawling Xinjiang province of our friendly neighbour and the fabled city of Kashgar. ft has, thus opened a passage through the isolated mountainous regions which remained a cultural backyard of humanity for millennia. This highway has been described as the eighth wonder of the world by hundreds of travellers and beyond any doubt, it is the marvel of modern engineering. The brave road builders of China and Pakistan took twenty years to complete this 774 km. long highway which has been stretched over the hills, gorges; valleys and rivers.
It was not easy to conceive and to execute such a Herculean project particularly in such a monstrous region. No wonder it had been considered impossible by some of the world's biggest consortiums. In fact the construction of the highway involved about thirty million cubic yards of rock blasting and earthwork, over eight thousand tons of explosives and eighty thousand tons of cement and so many other materials and that too in thousands of tons. Approximately fifteen thousand men of the Pakistan Army and the Chinese workers, working shoulder to shoulder, cut through one of the most difficult terrains in the world and toiled under the most trying conditions. It is believed that more than five hundred persons, that is, about one person per mile, lost their lives in the road building process.
The Highway itself is the greatest memorial to those martyrs who sacrificed their lives during blasting, rockfalls, landslides, earthquakes and avalanches. And humanity ows a deep debt of gratitude to all those who lost their lives during the road building. Their success, however, has opened a new chapter in the world's history as this road will be used by generations after generations of the human beings not only to learn about these high mountains and the people who live there in the scattered valleys but also to draw together, in a common pursuit of peaceful trade, as it was once done with great difficulty through the famous Silk Route.
For many centuries caravans braved these tortuous mountains treading precariously along the goat tracks and narrow paths sometimes providing short cuts between the great caravan towns of the Central Asian and rich markets of the subcontinent. However, the trails were too hazardous, angry rivers too horrifying to contemplate, storms and avalanches caused even the most intrepid to quail on the high passes and in the desolate gorges.
It was in fact, the great Han empire of China that extended its influence towards this part of the world and controlled roads leading through it. The most important item of trade, in which China was interested at that time was the export of Chinese silk and hence the popularity of the name. The Silk Route, which traversed the Tarim basin in its westward extension through
Central Asia to meet the markets in the Mediterranean coast. From second century B.C. to about fifth century A.D. the trade continued to flow. Thereafter the rise of the Hsiung-nu dislocated trade connections and the name of Silk Route survived in legendary tales only.
The ancient Silk Route started at Ch'angan (modern Si-gan-fu, former capital of the province of Shen-si) on the north-western borders of China and skirted the Gobi desert westward to Dun-huang, where it bifurcated into two - one passing the northern edge of the Tarim basin through the world famous Turfan treasures, Aksu and on to Kashgar; and the second followed the southern edge at the foot of Kun Lun and reached Khotan, Yarkand and on to Kashgar. The journey westward was either over the north of Pamir towards Samarkand or across the smaller valleys south of it through Wakhan, Badakhshan and onwards to Bactria north of the Hindukush in the valleys of the Oxus. It is the centres on the southern route that threw down paths around the FIun Lun towards Karakorum region, opening a passage for trade to the Indo-Gangetic plains. From time to time the passage has varied, depending upon its starting point in Khotan, Qargalik or Yarkand, the eastern-most being the Khotan route across the upper valley of Yarkand river over to Kun Lun. On the South it crossed the Muztag river and after passing through Shimshal reached the main channel of Hunza river. But a route from Yarkand proper would follow its tributary of Tashkurgan river and reach the town of that name and branch off either towards Wakhan or towards Khunjrab. It is the Wakhan route that can be reached directly from Gilgit, Chilas or Chitral over high passes.
The following two quotations of the two world famous ancient travellers, that is Mr.Hiuen Tsang and Mr. Sung-Yung-Yun throw sufficient light on the problems of the old Silk Route. Hiuen Tsang described his journey to Swat in the following words:
"The road was difficult and broken, with steep crags and precipices in the way. The mountain side is simply a stone wall standing up 10,000 feet. Looking down, the sight is confused and on going forward there is no sure foothold.
Below is a river called Sint-uho (Jndus). In old days men bored through the rocks to make a way, and spread out side-ladders, of which there are seven hundred (steps) in all to pass. Having passed the ladders, we proceeded by a hanging rope-Bridge and crossed the river. The two sides of the river are something less than 80 paces apart."
San-Yan described as under:
"The mountains here are as lofty and the gorges deep as ever. The king of the country has built a town, where he resides, for the sake of being in the mountains. The people of the country dress handsomely, only they use some leathern garments. The land is extremely ëold so much so, that the people occupy the caves of the mountains as dwelling places, and the driving wind and snow often compel both men and beasts to herd together. To the south of this country are the snowy mountains, which, in the morning and evening vapours, rise up like gem-spires".
From the description it appears to be the present Misgar area, where caves are still seen and used for living purposes. If this identification is correct, Sung-Yun must have crossed over the Mintaka pass.
The ancient approach was across the Kilk Mintaka Pass over to the opening of Misgar and onwards to Hunza. Mintaka Pass opened up in the Chinese empire on the east and Tsarist Russia on the north-west. The present opening at Khunjrab provides an easy access to China's potential trade influence down to the Arabian sea and onwards to the free world for the first time in history.
The modern K.K.H. which may also be called as a substitute of the ancient silkroute begins from Islamabad and passes through, Rawalpindi - Taxila -Hassan Abdal - Haripur - Abbottabad - Batgram -Besham Qila - Pattan -Chilas - Jaglot - Gilgit - Hunza - Gulmit - Passu - Sust and enters China atKhunjrab.
Approximate distances and travelling on the K.K.H. by light transport are given below, but much would depend on the season and the driving skill of the driver.

The K.K.H. passes through a scenic wonderland. The landscape changes almost after every mile. Along the road there are scores of sites and scenes which deserve careful study and observation and there are things which cannot be described in words alone. Above all a drive from Jslamabad to Khunjrab is a rare and life long experience which nobody can forget after going through it once.
Maintenance of road, however, is a major problem because Karakorams are active even today. There is a continual disintegration in the higher regions because of the interactions of several factors including the effects of climate variations and the forces of gravity,rain, snow,ice, mud floods etc. all play key roles in the general destruction of these mountain areas. When parts of the valley walls break away, or when the streams undercut these steepest
precipices on earth then gravity causes small and large fragments, in single pieces or in thunderous avalanches, to descend at frightening speeds to the floor of the valley. Several parts of the road, and even villages are, either washed away or buried under several thousand tons of mud. A few years ago the Batura Glacier, just a few kilometres from the beautiful Gulmit, quietly advanced and with its blunt snout nudged away the towers of a strong bridge toppling it into the Hunza river. It has not been found possible to rebuild the bridge which causes great problems during the summer season when the flow of water increases due to snow-melting.
Found in this region, and perhaps nowhere else in the world, is the snow leopard. Also, Marco Polo sheep, the Markhor and Thar (a wild goat), the Bhural (a sheep), and Deer were common, but now they are extremely rare. One of the several rare species of birds is the colourful "Ram Chakor' the ordinary Chakor, a kind of pheasant, is also found in other parts of the country, but the 'Ram' lives along the Karakoram Highway up to the Chinese border. It is much bigger than the Chakor found near Quetta, far to the southwest. Pheasants of other types also abound--the trapogan, kalege and chir. The first of these, the trapogan, is now almost extinct.

On the Run.........

2006-03-29T11:07:00.000+05:00

Since about a week now a lot of movement here whish make my life very busy. Work, travel, late evenings...etc, just a little tired these days and not too much in a writting mood!! This is certainly a good thing!

:-)

The Karakoram Highway & Skardu

2006-03-22T16:33:00.000+05:00

Today is my first day of holidays. I have a head of me an other 5 days to relax and not think too much about work! I am now in Islamabad where I arrived yesterday, I was planning to do a great trip, but due to limited time to plan properly, and exhausted by the last few weeks of mission, I decided that I would remain calm instead of making my trip yet. Nevertheless, I still can start planning my trip for in 6 weeks when I get the next holidays. I apparently need to remain in Pakistan for an other 3 months.....yeah, I know, its a long time.... ;-) but thourgh, I love it here, just to beautiful to go yet. My plan is to visit the North eastern area of Pakistan. The one which makes the border with China/Tibet. I plan first to fly to Skardu, which is a little south east of Gilgit which sits at the gate of Hunza valley. Hunza is famous for its beautiful scenaries and temple. I Am hoping to spend my first night there in Hunza which is about 2 hours drive from Gilgit. (check this to know more: http://www.hunza.20m.com/).

After checking Skardu and what it has to offer, I will go along the KKH until I reach the Khunjera pass via K2 view point and through to China Xinjiang province.
K2 was succesfully summitted in 1954. Since then, there have been 189 summits. Forty nine climbers have died on K2, twenty-two while descending from the summit. In terms of the number of accidents that happen on the descent, it is the most deadly mountain in the world. The statistics for female climbers are particularly dramatic. Some even say K2 is "cursed" for women. Five women have reached the top, but of those 5, three died on the descent. (The other 2 have since died on other 8,000-meter peaks.)

Anyway, I am not intending to do any climbing, just thought these stats would give a bit more to K2 than just a name. I have enough with tower climbing! On the way to K2, there is apparentely a lot of unique views and peaks to pass by. There is also a large number of lakes and Glaciers which hopefully gives me some of the most amazing videos/photo shots.

I would have never through of being here in pakistan one day, even as a bag packer. Shame on me, this area of the world is just a pure blast of beauty and amazement from Nature! yeah, I know, the KKH doesnt end up just over the border in China, but if I keep on going this road, I might just not return to work afterall, I only have 6 days ;-)

Dream dream dream, take the dreams away from me, and I'll stop living!

;-)

What's with Henna and White Hairs ? (Q/A)

2006-03-20T14:11:00.000+05:00

The Quran says that men must not use any colours for their white hairs. However, they can use Henna & Katam! This was the answer to my wonders about this. I had heard of it from friends but I wanted to find the real version of the story somewhere, google brought it to me, click here

Illustration, Click Here.

Bana road

2006-03-19T13:53:00.000+05:00

I have just spent a two days trip further to the North to install a Radio Room. The place I went to is called Bana. I am not sure it is written on any map as it is small and deep into the core of the Northern Mountains. To get there you have to use some snaky slippery, extremely narrow road built-in the cliff of the mountains. When the mission was submitted, I wanted to arrange myself a trip via Helicopter, it was meant to be much more practical and safe. However, a colleague of mine also wanted to join for this special expedition to this no tourist seen place, so the trip by chopper was cancelled and replaced by a 4x4 road trip.

In order for us to depart, we had to get an escort from the police station. The reasons to these mandatory escorts are still unclear. No one here knows exactly, the real purpose of this escort. It’s meant to be for our protection the police says, but in fact, rumors tells that it could well be that Pakistan does not want certain people to lose themselves in some areas where certain things would be seen ( let free your imagination). This makes it a very intriguing topic, but for my own safety I prefer to not dig into this. Once we got our escort, we started heading north and begin our journey.

It takes 2 solid hours with good road conditions to reach Bana, and good road conditions means: no rain, and no landslides. The road is made of mud and rocks, and is engraved inside the 80% straight cliff! If it rains, you are very likely to get a 4x4 roll-over all the way down the mountain with tones of mud following up. As security is a concern in the ** the trip was prepared accordingly to the state of the road so no problems. However, on the way, we did face a small landslide and had to standby on the edge of the cliff for 20 minutes before the bulldozer made its way through and free the passage for all. The journey to Bana was just one of the most spectacular drive I have ever taken in my life. The road itself, the view, and the incredible people living along the road made it an unforgettable event! Arrival on Bana was a little surprise. We had been climbing up the mountains and reaching the top of some, but yet there was other mountain higher overtaking the one we were on. Bana was sitting in the middle of a valley which itself was on the top of a mountain. The altitude of this valley is only 1300m which does not sound like a lot but does look like it when your there.

Bana is one of the most earthquake affected area from the 2005 quake, and need a lots of support from humanitarian still. Installing a Radio Room there would allow more efficiency in the movement of this mountainous area. Food, Tents, Medical…etc distribution is a lot easier when you can coordinate things. There is no electricity there, no GSM network, and nothing modern like we easily find in big towns. We started working as soon as we arrived there, and the first obstacle on the way was to find good place to set the Radio room tent. Once this was localized, we then started installing the equipment and try to get the job done as soon as we could. We were only given 24 hours to accomplish this installation and return to base. Unfortunately, as the sun fell very behind the high mountains, soon we were in the dark, and no more work was possible. By this time, it was the moment to look for a place to sleep, and we only found this in on of the spare tents which were lying near by. We set our beds, and heated the room with Gas heater.

This was only 7:00 when we were done and ready to sleep, but I wasn’t sleepy, and neither was the Pakistanis driver which took us there so we both decided to head to the center of the village and check out for a place to eat! We went into one of them and there I could not think of me leaving this restaurant (hotel they call it) without having some footage of it. I asked my friend (the driver) Khurram if he thinks they would mind if I was to make a short movie with them, and he said: “They will love it; they have never seen a camera”. He asked them and they enthusiastically given their go ahead! I ran to the tent and got my video camera! It was certainly one of the best footage I had the chance to take since I have started using a camera. There were these men in the kitchen which itself was outside under a porch where they had set some wood fire cookers. The light was provided by the fires and the men where on the spot to make me some delicious local meals. Unfortunately, having been food poisoned the two days before, I was still worried of getting some bad stomach, so didn’t enjoy any of it but the making of it video taped was my pleasure.I guess seeing the video of this would be just self explanatory and certainly much more entertaining that “I” writing but have not found a way yet to share videos. The night went by with some really deep sleep and the morning arrived with its extremely cold and humid clothes! As there was nothing there, we didn’t get the pleasure of a breakfast watching the mountain, and immediately went on with the left out work from the day before. The mission was completed by noon, and soon we were ready to go! Of course, before that, I wanted to enjoy a little more the company of Khurram and his expertise of the place also to get to one of the high point in the mountain further up! It was worth the trip! Only about 15 minutes from the tent, and high up in the mountains was this riz culture and farmers working as hard as ever with for landscape background the entire valley we had taken so much time to come across from! Just stunning, what more can I say! We made our way out with as much pleasure as the way in, and reached Battagram in early afternoon! Mission completed the heart full of amazement and questions about how far can go the wonderfulness of Nature!

To top up the last couple of days event, this morning, while I was just waking up from a deep sleep 7 hours, I heard a massive noise! It was like if you take a bag full of round stones and shake the bag as strong as you can! Stick a microphone in the bag, gradually bring up the volume on the amplifier, and listen!
This was a 5.1 magnitude earthquake right near by our place. As I was lying on the ground I have not felt the vibration, but all the people in the office have ran out, and the one in the kitchen tent literally saw the whole kitchen set bouncing from one side of the huge tent to the other one! (You can check the earthquake status on a daily bases at www.iris.edu (seismic monitor).

What a Blast this week! ;-)

Raimbow!

2006-03-15T22:11:00.000+05:00

Yeahhhhh!

Pakistan childrens

2006-03-14T20:54:00.000+05:00

So beautiful, so new and entertaining is the moment shared with these naive angels. No talk, no writting, just gestures and mouth games, just an instant where you wonder what the other thinks, complete absence marks, just the gestures and the smile can give you a guide! When leaving them, I gave out 50 Rps (1$), and they started exploding of joyce and jump around. "You share" I pointed out, one of the boy screamed for me to give him more, but the blue little girl grabbed his arm, and told him, I guess :), "We share he said!!".

Manserah, contemplation.

2006-03-14T19:47:00.000+05:00

I am now arrived in Manserah (North East) Pakistan where most of the humanitarian traffic passes by. It is located in a beautiful valley and of course surrounded of uncredible mountains. It also has some magnificiant Rice cultures and a beautiful contrast in color with the brown, white, black, and green mountains. The clouds thickness and opacity gives this uncredible 3 dimensional effect to the already so suprising view. I have sat there after finishing a job and stood there for ever so much the Nature around was incredible. Then while observing and breathing fully this amazing moment, I started noticing the peoples. All these people you can freely observe whithout having to be seen. When you are sitting up here, you dont get seen by people, but you see them naturaly behaving and doing their day to day things..... This brought me to remember where I am and to maybe find a meaning to my life at the moment.

In the end, I concluded that my life at the moment, is just a journey through others'e one.

;-)

Number One Gate...

2006-03-09T23:36:00.000+05:00

Some people say that passing through a bad moment is taff luck.... I wonder why this is being said! I feel that the worst moment you go through in your life are by the best experiences and lesson you can have. The stuff below that I wrote a few days ago happens on a regular basis. When it happens I really feel low. However, it is something I see like part of this uncredible adventure which Im having fun in, and its here to make it this more special! It also allow me to write in here on a regular basis. Writting is such a great thing when you are in this situations, and Im really loving this writting monologues with myself which after time and long moment of no understanding are in fact just way to balance things up. Being working in the field like this brings you a lots of question about yourself and current situation. The hard part in this is that you have to work out what you really want in a way which does not allow to think of it an othertime. You try to refer to other peoples back home, or about people around you, but you are surrounded of people like you which make it so hard to judge a right balance between home people and yourself. This job is such a tricky one!

Anyway, changing subject, its been a few amazing last days! This Bagh in kasmir is simply breath less experience. After this day of downtime and depress, i woke up the next day on a good vibe! the day was just very proficient, Managed to get a tent from the pakistanese army after 5 hours meeting with lieutnants, colonels, god know who else to sign paper proving that the PK army had given a tent!!! wow, the funny part is that this tent was donated before after the earthquake my us... Anyway, this is not my point in writting tonight.. After this day of good work, I ended at the gate with the guards. The guards are national staff whom make sure the entry of the camp is clear of any threat. I did met a few of them already before that day, but never got into there intimacy of late evenings at the gate. There where they all gather together and talk for ages. That evening two of them, Zen & Kashi decided to take me out the camp for a little walk. We are not allowed normaly to get out the camp after nightfall, but this day, I broke the rule and went with them. We walked only about 3 minutes down to the cliff which dominates the village and its lights! It was an amazing moment where we chatted for so long and where work was not related to any of the conversasion we were having. I was discovering our a Pakistanese live and what are the 30's like for a national person. I havd a simply amazing time, and when we returned we sat all together again at the front gate. These people are beautifull, they are like childs laughing about simple thing such as arguing on about how many continent there is on the planet, and then one would step up and say something funny like "2" and everyone would laugh like kids! Ill try to get a shot of these new friends from the Number one Gate! :)

Oouchh... an other wierd evening...

2006-03-06T21:40:00.000+05:00

Its been only a month now in Pakistan, and most of it in the North East (Kasmir). The work progress has so far given good results and I start to feel a little more settled in this new environement. The people here are for most of them Pakistanese. There is about 70% of the staff in this coumpound which are national resident and the rest us are from abroad. The age average is probably around 35+, and the majority are relatively calm and into their work, at least for the expats. The coumpound is relatively small, and there isnt much to do at evening. Unlike when you just arrive in a place and meet people, you get a totally different feeling after some time. The more you remainin in a confined environement, the more you start to feel unsociable with the people whom surrounds you all this time. You react a lot more to the feeling of lonelyness and isolation.Funny enough you generate this atmosphere to yourself, and it kill any hope of seeing things change. You try, get with the rare people (3 or 4) which gather for an evening to have a glass of wine and release the stress accumulated during the day, days, weeks, but then the next time you do this again comes the same scenario, same people, same unfortunate luck of at least having this... One of the most difficult thing which goes with this is that even if you decide to have some "fun" chat and time, you still have to face the problem of living in a very mixte communoty of people which have different moods, different habits and appreciations of the common space we have to share. There is not a place in this coumpound where you can actually talk with anyone without having a hear listening, a person sleepless from your talks, or a local resident from whom you have to hide in case he would not like you to have fun at this time a night.
What I usually do to try and feel better, I retire to my 3m square compartiment in one of the collective tents and try to get away/out from here. This I may try it by surfing the web, waiting for anyone to show up on msn and share a moment of chit chat, or by watching a DVD. Here again, when you have done this again and again, you then just lie and watch the roof hoping for something. At this stage you could think that its the end of this crazzy chain of event, but nope... because then you start thinking about your life, about your friends, about everything.. and there you never know where it goes. I'll confess that most of the time it goes to, what;s next? where is my beloved... what is the family doing....etc. Its just so wierd and hard! In the meantime, what I do is passionating in terms of meeting all these people of the world and seeing them saved from a certain death sometimes, and the children being given something while they've lost all.. How paradoxal is this, while you give all you have in a cause or in a simple feeling of love for them you carry with you, you feel yourself isolated from the love of anyone you know... you feel so alone sometimes... I am still at the stage of wondering if this is just me having a lake of experience in the subject or if its just if its normal time to time to feel like... All I feel so far while doing this job is that you receive more love from these passenger which you are here for, children eldery people and poor victims of aweful disaster/massacre, than from the people you would expect to be the one to care about you. Those you care so much about, for one reason or an other, are those who just never have a nice word for you which would mean so much to you. I guess having a more "rational" life back there in the modern world brings with it, indifference and a lose of value and beleif in universal love. I no more beleive much in this feeling we call love, and trust with all our soul and body... its just doesnt make sense to me no more... I hope one day, it will mean something again as it does in the modern world, but for now, love is just about loving every one who gives you this little bit of time, this little bit of affection and sympatie to make that all this lonelyness becomes easier. Now if you say you should go home and live this more rational life.

I would certainly say right now, if going back home and living there, in this society where you may get loved by some people and get forgotten whenabout you need them the most, I'd rather still think about it. At least here, even if its not paradise, you meet random people with real simple loving energy which gives a sense to your presence here....

anyway, emptied my bag, feeling better.... writting to myself has always turned out to be the best therapie in these moments.

I miss you my "Z"!!

2006-03-05T23:07:00.000+05:00

Zzzzz!! I miss you, I wish I could ride the smooth curve of the savage cost with you, I wish I could take good care of you and cudle your beautiful tank with love and tenderness! ...... hmm, hahaha something is going wrong with me!!! ;-)

Travel in Style Or your own way ?

2006-03-01T14:00:00.000+05:00

You have the choice! You may choose :
Travel In Style, OR....

Travel your own Way!!!! I promise, it also works!

Beautiful ?

2006-03-01T10:37:00.000+05:00

I guess there is not so much I can write here but just that these two man are looking absolutely amazing. This is right at the border near the so called "Line of control" between Kasmir and the disputed area (india/pakistan). The people here dont really seem to have any problem with the territorial issues, it is a lot more to do with finding a supply of food to get their family to survive. It is very high up here, and it is also damn cold! There is not much you can say but that its a pity once again to see the political authorities, have no other occupation than fighting to get more land, which afterall does not have even economical assets. Its purely and simply a stupid political game, looking like two man fighting over who has the nicest car..... Human idiocy is just facinating! All the merit to these mans and woman surviving there, and having to face much more important problem like famine, earthquakes, and winters!

Journey aboard of a Toyota pickup!

2006-03-01T09:39:00.000+05:00

Yesterday afternoon, Tuesday 28th/06, was decided to be a chilled out day! Indeed, I had done all the work I had to do, and was waiting for more work to come along. As a result, and being taken over by a feeling of lazyness, I decided that it was time to have a break, and explore elsewhere than the camp! I easily managed to find a my two good friends around the camp who did not hesitate a second to jump into the car and wait with me for the driver to start the ride! Murtaza (on the left) came up with this great idea of making ourselves confortable at the back by integreting in this standard pickup the confortable chairs option. This was just the most brilliant idea of putting camping seats at the back!! yeah! This was just an unreal experience when crossing the town on the back of the pickup with all these pakistanese watching us and smiling! We headed up on of the multiple mountains around here, as you get high, it gets cold, so soon we were no more proud of our brilliant found with the seat at the back! it was freezing, and seeing the edge of the narrow snaky roads was a real scare! Through we made it to the top a along with this amazing view on the vallee! This must have been a little mountain as we only reached about 3000m+ but the spectacle from up there was breath taking, and worth while!
Next, we plan to take a two days trip on the week end and get up a higher mountain which should allow us to see the feets of the K2 mountain chain which are just about the border with China! of course, K2 is a little far to be seen from here, but just to see the feets of it will be an exalting moment! Inshallah, I will get the chance to head up to K2 sometimes when I get a few days off! (K2 is on the border with China and is the second highest mountain in the world at 8611m).

For those with Google Earth check this one out :
http://bbs.keyhole.com/ubb/download.php?Number=139207

This last pic here, is the view from the top where we drunk a Thai and had a moment of pure oxygene breafing! :-)

My home, my private space, my identity

2006-02-25T19:48:00.000+05:00

Just now, I am writting from this little place, I have, and where I can spend time: sleeping and relaxing, thinking and writting, listening to music, getting away from everything and anyone.... its the place where I only spend so little time, but where I enjoy so much freedom. Of course, im talking about my compartement (bed) in the common tent shared by about 20 other people.

We have those beautiful separations which only isolate you from the other regards, I say, "from the look" because, you still can hear, can smell..etc everything. After all, it is only a thick sheet separation between the neightbourgh and yourself. Itimacy isnt the best thing here, but where your mind goes is pure freedom. Regardless of the noise and smells, when I travel there I then can allow myself all the fantasy and dreams I ever wish to have, I can rewind parts of my life and revisit my experiences, be it pain, be it love, be it anything, its always with an amazing pleasure that meet You in my thought, You, My people, the Ones I have shared something with at any time in my life. Be it Love, be it Friendship or just a random minute, it has been part of my thoughts many times. This is how I feel when isolate from all, and sometimes lonely. It is of course not all green like it looks. For sure I love my work, I love life, but most of all, I love you. you who read my web, my email, or make my journey through life such an extraordinary trip. . And in all this Green, there is the Other Side, this one even Greener, where sometimes I wish I would be, with you my people.

Houses of the world

2006-02-23T22:01:00.000+05:00

Tonight, starts a new type of post. I thought it would be interesting to compare peoples homes and living conditions from different countries. I shall hope to keep this updated on a regular bases with new pictures. The first pic will go to Sudan! Since is a place where I have spent my first 8 month on this mission's job, it was needed to honor it! In sudan, these houses are called "Tukels", they are built of dried mud and dried grass/weat? they aren't water proof, and very vulnerable to fire! Inside, you usualy find the most modest furnishement with one/two bed(s) (usualy made of colorful strings) , a large pot , and that is pretty much it! the surrounding is for most made of a little perimeter, in which you might find more beds, a donkey, kids, or plastic bags in a lots of cases! Plastic bags, at least in Darfur states are given with almost anything you may buy. They are extremely thin, and fragile. Unfortunately, also very light, as a result, since litters are not available anywhere, the streets and villages usualy hold a huge population of the plastic bags which migrates along with the wind and eventualy die on one of these houses perimeter.... The "tucool" is a rather popular house, but it may be unaccessible to some who then live under 4 wooden sticks and a roof of dried herbs/grass!

Voila, see you next time for an other house of the world.

Lightray sunset!

2006-02-23T09:55:00.000+05:00

Beautiful Sunset on Bagh (Kasmir).

Thanks the welders!

2006-02-22T21:31:00.000+05:00

There I am waiting for the brackets to be done. Indeed, despite the tremendous amount of equipment, you still have to make your own stuff sometimes!! In thie case I had to get some brackets and tube welding done! It took a solid 3 hours to get all the parts togethers around town, then i brought them all to the welders for welding (confection of the beautiful brackets).

But here I am with my brand new beautiful red brackets!!! It was worth the wait, after 1 day and an half, I managed to get the very well hand built brackets! The red painting is mine tho! :) An other few hours later and the antenna was up! This made my day and happy day. Thanks to that antenna the NGO's in the district can from now on use our network to get the logistics or what ever needs coordination going! yiiipeee...

Beaten my fears, got the job done!

2006-02-21T21:16:00.000+05:00

The climbing of telecom towers is a rather usual task I have to do in this work, up to now I had climbed up to 30 meters at the most, and it had been a real mission at the time. Yesterday, I had o face a new challenging situation and overcome some serious fear. Unfortunately, I am the only person on the camp which is suppose to get up there, and if i dont do it, they would have to send an other technician specificaly for the task!

It took me a few days of thinking before i felt able to get up there. Then, yesterday early morning, I decided that it was the time to go for it and just beat the adrenaline rush! I made the first 25 meters with no big problems, but past that stage, I started sweating a lot and feeling the moves of the tower. It wasn't like properly moving as a tree would do, but it was twisting on it self and all the way through down to the ground! The most interesting part in this is that you should have no reasons to fear anything! The tower is usually well maintained by iron wires on all side, and is designed to support such an event! However, it is the mind which is not design at this stage to just walk up there like on the sandy beach! It took me such an effort to get through this "what about if...... is it going to hold..... am I really abe to......" questions. Eventually I found the motivations to make it up the top and install the required stuff up there! The reward: an absolutely stunning panoramic view on the whole camp and its surrounding which you would not guess from the ground! when you are up there you feel like you are invisible to all, and that you can observe a whole world of activities. Since you have a fairly long distance view, you can choose to live in the view down the tower, or just about over there in the mountains near by! Then, just like it this wasnt enough, once you are down the tower, you feel happy, very happy and it is not because you have been up there watching the view, but it is because you have managed to do something you thought you would not be able to do! This is what I think is the important thing to keep from this! I will always remember this experience and carry it with me as much as I can! Sometimes, its worth a try to fight with yourself to grow!

Who said, oh! you have cold feets baby! 8=)

2006-02-18T21:04:00.000+05:00

I'm sure that this man has an extraodinary blood pressure, and a perfect health! I dont know how old is this man, but he is surely well over 50 years old, and yet, he shows an absolutely stunning profile! He shares a house further up on the mountain cliff, with an other douzen of people. The house is small, but surely it can be shared, in the snow, in the cold nights, one would have to be a criminal not to give a home to anyone passing by! I wonder how is a life living away from my world (the world I grew up in anyway). Surely there is a lot to discover living a life like this. Through, you dont choose where you're born, or in which world you will grow... You might be lucky, or you might be very unlucky... the most important is to remember that you are not better or worst than an other, and try to just be humble and good. I cannot avoid thinking how his wife must be emjoying his cold feets when in bed, they surely reach below zero temps!! ;-)

Welcome to Kasmir

2006-02-18T11:45:00.000+05:00

K asmir, This is now where I am. I should stay here for another 2 weeks. I arrived yesterday and started my stay here with a strong head pain du to the altitude. I went to sleep all day to try and get it sorted which worked after a solid 6 hours nap! So basically it has been a day for nothing in terms of work! Today, it is raining, and there it makes work a lot more difficult, I am supposed to install antennas on a 45 m mast, and trust me, its not what I like to do the most. Through, its part of the work, so I ll have to challenge myself with this one! At least the view from up there should be even more beautiful than where I am now. Tonight, at 16h00 I wanted to go trekking with a couple of local pakistanese collegues, but I guess I wont have the time for it. Its already 14:45 and I have not yet installed a bolt up there! Thought I would wait a little that the rain stops to get there, meanwhile started writting this little bit. Pakistan keeps on amazing by its amazing beauty! Maybe its the contrast with Sudan which hits me the most, but these high mountains with snow and mist in the morning are just breath taking... Maybe it is also to do with the legend saying that if you get to the highest mountain pic around here, and if the weather is clear! you could see the Hymalaya! I dont beleive yet in this "legend" since the distance between here and there is of about 1400Km!! A hell of a view if you can see it from here. At my current position the altitude is of about 2500m above sea level, which is not that high, but already the breathing is different! No smoking makes it a lot easy and it is good that I have stopped!
Anyway, as things goes, I hope I will have more pictures like the one below to offer you! Until then, I m going back to work. ;-)

MI26: This things is just unreal!

2006-02-17T19:38:00.000+05:00

MI-26 I saw this one in Sudan before, but only from far, on the ground on in the Air. But yesterday, before flying out toIslamabad, I decided that I had to go and check it out closely! Indeed, this is the MI26, the largest helicopter ever built! It can carry cargos of up to 20 tonnes! Jumped in the car, headed to the secondlanding field, and there is was! The monster Heli on standby! Tosee the gigantique sizeof it, you have to compare with something! if you look before the Helico, there is a big guy there standing! look at the size of the helico... should give some idea of how huge is the thing!

Media's stupidity vs Protests abuses.

2006-02-16T11:10:00.000+05:00

How long to wait before journalists and Protesters grow up to become rational? I wonder if it is only me, or if this is just one of theses ugly things Media's and Politicals like to "play" with. Its been going for far to long, and if you ask me, this is what revolts and frustates me the most at the moment. Im of course talking about these stupid cartoons and those violent protests. This picture is from Peshawar North East of Islamabad. Due to this inccident on a daily basis, we have been mobilised for days, it is seriously irritating to be affected by this "bullshit" from the western world, while being out there trying save lifes. On one side, protests should be peaceful and honest, on the other, imature idiots re-publishing theses cartoons, firing more and more anger from nearly half of the world population, should put to an end there easy scandalous sells.

This would not affect my life I wouldn't give a damn, but unfortunately, it puts the life of a lots of people out here to danger.... Grow up stop selling shit articles for money, it shouldn't be the point for Press & Media's, rather focus on how American democracy suck the world under its control....

Wasting lifes to exterminate other's one?

2006-02-15T20:54:00.000+05:00

AK47 for the school bag, eyes full of concerns, on the defencive, ready to kill, very simply! While the teacher sends the donkey hat to the corner of the classroom, the Warrior Child hides in the corner to hide from his enemy, or, for when the time's right, launch an assault and kill a brother, who's like him, ended up in this useless fight for a Genocide he does not even understand...

How come that there are so many inequalities and power abuse around the world right now. I don't understand this useless violence which appears to be the essential reason of life on earth! Fill the human engine with "Money, Religions, Colorants and Power" to get the worst Natural self-destructive animal..

Zanzibar paradise Isl

2006-02-15T16:48:00.000+05:00

An other 6 weeks in Zanzibar, and here I am on R&R again, this time I decided to go for the sure value: Zanzibar Isld, its an located North West of the Tanzanian cost, right above Comores Isld. It is not very visited by the regular tourist, and have a lots of charme! The only expates you will find there are the one whom works in Africa (for most). From Darfur, I flew to Khartoum, a little stop for 4 hours, then off to Nairobi, Kenya. Another hours passes by and this is the last flight for Zanzibar! Of course as for all my travels I was alone, and didnot know anything as to where are the right places to go. I just decided that for this late arrival I would spend a day in the capital of the island "Stone Town". It looked very tropical with all the Zing roofs and all the palm trees surrounding the town. People there from the begining appeared to be very attracted by travelers, of course like in every other beautiful places, when the landscape and nature is so rich, the people are the opposite! Travelers means money to them, and there is hundreds of people running after you to offer you service provision, they offer everything, Bike rental, boat trips, drugs, hotels... you name it! After some wondering around town, I found a hotel and decided to drop the bags and start the holidays with a drink and a nice dinner. Alone, in the town, it feels a little bit sad, and lonely, but hey, there is nothing I can do about that.

I was already thinking about the next day for which I had the plan of getting a motorbike and drive around the entire island. Fortunately for me, and for him, I met one of the business seekers in the restaurant where I was having this dinner. He offered me all sorts of things, but somehow, I felt he was an honest and nice person. I gave it a go, and booked a motorbike with him for the next day. That times the feelings were right, he presented me all his family, which all had one business or an other, and I got my bike sorted presto the next day. I should mention that with the bike i received a Tanzanian Driving license signed and approved by the local authorities :-) hihi! There I was off on the bike, and crossing villages and palm forest across the island. I soon reached the South of the island where I was hoping to settle for a while. Though, when I arrived there, it was desert, and none was present. Only the local people were there, I should also say that in April is the start of the rainy season and that tourist, the few there is arent so kind to take showers!

Since there was nobody and that I was seeking for a minimum of a social context, I decided to head off directly up north where it is suppose to be the nicest part of the Island. It took me nearly two hours to reach the place, but when I arrived, I was reward generously by an astonishing sunset, and a beautiful chill out place where i already knew I would settle for the rest of my trip! The perfect spot. just about enough travelers around with who talking about nothing and everything, and an amazing scenary!
I stood there for the 4 following days, and returned to the sand and problems of Darfur :)

After the Calm the storm!

2006-02-15T12:15:00.000+05:00

After Cyprus, I went back to my beloved Western Darfur were a lots of work was waiting for me, and I was also looking forward to it. Since I have started this job, it has become a real pleasure to get to "work". Through it has ver rough time, I do love it. The day this picture was taken was a Friday, which in Sudan (like most of the muslim countries) is equivalent to the Saturday in Christian countries. Geneina, the small capital of West Darfur, we use to organise BBQ parties for the Humanitarian workers around the area, and this day was no exception. Me and a good friend of mine, Brian, had already started drinking a few beers while sitting on my prefab balcony. Finding beer is a real challenge, and it is not often that we get them, so when there is, it never last for long. We were already half drunk and talking a lot, when we suddenly saw coming this huge cloud of dust called "Haboub" (sandstorm)! He had the time to finish the beer and clear the BBQ setup before this huge monster swallow the camp into a thick and blinding curten of sand! All inhouse!!!!!

Egypt: A tourist passing by...

2006-02-15T11:17:00.000+05:00

Heard so much about it, seen so much about it, would have been a shame not to pass by this track of the ancient world! Impressive, huge, unthinkable, theses pyramides are real monsters of architecture!

I spent two days in Cairo while heading to Cyprus, I did not get see so much, but at least I managed to check out this, like a proper tourist that I am! I also passed by there to visit a friend which I use to hang with in Rome, it was nice meeting there! Cairo looked messy to me, and over-crowded, a lot of cars, gaz, and buildings! Gigantic is what is the word coming to my mind, with a population of about 15M people (including Greater city), you can imagine the diversity there is out there, which makes it very interesting to see.Two days for me there were enough tho, as it wanted a chill and quite place! Cairo was far from it (probably like would have been any major city). Through its worst checking out these pyramides, it brings a lots of questions as to who where these ancestors!!!!